southchild

(Thanks, David)

Subject: Awaitting your responce. My name is Barack Hussein Obama, one of the sons of Barack Obama, Sr., a Luo from Nyang’oma Kogelo, Nyanza Province, Kenya, and of Ann Dunham Soetoro. As a result of my recent election to a high government post, I have come into possession of $3,550,000,000,000 ($3.55 trillion of U.S. dollars), […]

From Iowahak, Mathematicians Discover Largest Number: PALO ALTO, CA – An international mathematics research team announced today that they had discovered a new integer that surpasses any previously known value “by a totally mindblowing shitload.” Project director Yujin Xiao of Stanford University said the theoretical number, dubbed a “stimulus,” could lead to breakthroughs in fields […]

Inspiring, isn’t it?

(Hat tip: GPBurdell) My dear American friend I AM NEEDING TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE. I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS AD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 700 […]

This is pretty funny, in a sad and pathetic kind-of-way. Still, it may be good for a laugh in a week that’s been short on humor. Check out Michelle Malkin’s update of a classic fable, The Ant and the Grasshopper, 2008 edition: With what looks like imminent passage of the Mother of All Bailouts (following […]

(Hat tip: Jonah Goldberg) Mets Too Big To Fail: The New York Mets are suffering a stunning late season collapse once again. Leading by three games just a week ago, they are now a game-and-a half behind the first place Phillies and without a drastic change, the Mets could be shut out of the playoffs […]

Here’s the latest on Operation Zombie (OZ) — the government school program to transform captive children into helpless, mindless, drooling, dependent wards of the Democrat Utopia of America. The Mission Ensuring Equal Kids (MEEK) is responsible for prohibiting any activity if it can be shown that one kid is having more fun than another. The […]

Andrew Cline has this piece on Obama’s brutally-honest confession in San Francisco this past weekend. He gets by with a little help from his friends. For the past two days Obama has taken a beating by the Clinton campaign for remarks he made in San Francisco, in which he said many Americans who have lost […]

We recently wrote on the Alberta “Human Rights Commission’s” censorship case against Ezra Levant. Iowahawk has posted a copy of censor Shirlene McGovern’s case notes during Levant’s interrogation. This is very good. Don’t miss it.

OK, this is rich. Iowahawk has this breaking press release from Great Britain, “Look Out For People Doing Things:” London – British public safety officials today increased the national alert level to “Quite Elevated Indeed” — the highest category possible — and appealed to UK citizens to “keep a sharp lookout for diverse people engaged […]

IMMIGRATION BILL FAQ Q. I’m concerned that the immigration bill focuses more on giving illegal immigrants amnesty than border protection. Does the President share these concerns? A. The President doesn’t hate brown people. Q. This isn’t a racial issue. Many people think this bill will only encourage more illegal immigration and leave our borders open […]

Don’t laugh, this is a serious problem! What’s an environmentalist to do when their time comes? Cremation is no good — think of all that carbon that is released into the atmosphere! Burial takes up precious land, not to mention all the sedimentation that graveyard runoff may cause. What is a zero-emissions, no-footprint, act-locally environmentalist […]

This sign is a public service to the anti-gun, anti-Constitution lefties who feel that world peace will ensue when all guns are banned. Please display this poster prominently on your property! Put your money where your mouth is! Let all of your friends and neighbors know that your home or business is a pro-peace zone! […]

The eco-friendly Ark 9000 Trailer™ is a great workout! For convenience, a hybrid-only hitch is included (girl and bicycle sold separately). In case you missed it the first time around, we capitalists here at southchild want to bring to your attention a fabulous product for all of your liberal friends, The Ark 9000™. Order today, […]

The Ark 9000™ by Chicken Little, Inc. (CLI) is designed to protect you and your possessions during the coming “great flood” until the human race is sufficiently destroyed for Mother Earth to return to normal. P R E S S         R E L E A S E Contact: Con R. Tist […]

Poor Homeland Security. Does anyone remember who we picked on before this pathetic department? Check out the parody site, safenow.org. This is a spoof of the ready.gov site which has a series of picture “signs” so ambiguous and stupid that they make the color-coded, rainbow “alert” thing seem serious. Here are a few of our […]

“I say to John Kerry: I love you John Kerry, and I’m so sorry that things didn’t work out for our country.” John and Harry sitting in a tree. S.O.B.B.I.N.G. First came ‘Nam Then the Senate President? Not for a minute! “Charting a future as Senator Kerry”: Senate majority leader Harry Reid, a Nevada Democrat, […]

From Cox and Forkum.

Mike Adams is at it again: “My Conversion to Radical Islam” Their pitch to me was different from the one I got as a Baptist. Rather than asking me what I planned to do with Jesus, they suddenly pointed their pistols at my head and demanded that I drop to my knees. Fearing a scene […]