USC Ebonics Scholarship

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007 5:33 pm by Neal

We recently wrote on the abject stupidity of schools of Social Work infesting academia. Well, Mike Adams is on the hunt with this hilarious series of letters to the USC School of Social Work. Thanks, Mike. We really needed a good laugh today.

To Whom It May Concern (

I was searching for scholarships at USC and found the following information on a “Black Alumni Association/Ebonics Support GroupScholarship” (sic) at The University of Southern California. In order to be eligible, one must be a “currently enrolled USC African-American.” You also note that “undergraduate and graduate students are eligible” for the award of $500 to $3,000.

This is distressing because I am white but I am, nonetheless, fluent in ebonics. Would you consider making an exception?

Mike Adams


To Whom It May Concern (

I am in receipt of your auto-reply “response” to my request for information about scholarship opportunities at USC. I had an opportunity to visit the Social Work Department’s home page. Subsequently, I searched for “ebonics” and found this document.

Unfortunately, it still does not answer my question. In fact, I have some new concerns about your student groups, which are referred to as “Social Work Caucuses.” Your department handbook says the following: “The caucus structure insures that any and all student groups have an opportunity to establish a mechanism to have a voice in the overall operations of the School.” I have my doubts about that.

Among your list of groups are the “Asian Social Work Caucus,” the “Black Social Work Caucus,” the “Latino Social Work Caucus,” the “International Social Work Caucus,” and the “Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgendered Social Work Caucus.” I am wondering whether you have a “White Social Work Caucus” or a “Caucasian Caucus.” If not, is there any interest in starting one, which may or may not address the specific needs of white social workers who speak ebonics?

I thank you in advance for your non-automated response.

Mike Adams


To Whom It May Concern (

Once again, I am in receipt of your auto-reply “response” to my request for information about the Social Work Department at USC. I hope you will respect my request that all future emails be written by a real person in direct response to my concerns. I have more since I last wrote to you.

In examining your “Scholarship Listings and Other Sources” I noticed that you offer a specific scholarship for Asian Americans. In fact, you offer two. You also offer a specific scholarship for African Americans who speak Ebonics. And, finally, you offer a “Mexican American Alumni Association” scholarship for Hispanics. (There is also a reference to a scholarship from the “California Association of Black Social Workers” and one from “Trabajadores de La Raza” – one I did not understand because my second language is Ebonics, not Spanish).

And, yet, you offer nothing for a Caucasian – not even a bi-lingual Caucasian, unless, of course, he (she or it) happens to be bi-sexual.

This is unacceptable and I demand a personal response.

Mike Adams

To Whom It May Concern (

I be really getting tired o’ deez automatic responses. Could ya please answer muh ma f****n serious inquiries about yo’ program? Ever since da outbreak o’ wildfires in Malibu, California, I gots felt uh calling ta give up everything – muh ma f***n job, muh ma f****n home, an’ most o’ muh ma f****n gat collection ta come he`p whitey California liberals who gots lost mo’ in recent weeks than most peeps gain in uh lifetime.

Given dat I be bi-lingual, though not bi-sexual, I feel dat I gots mo’ ta offer than da average applicant who speaks only one language. Given muh ma f****n linguistic diversity, I would be ready, willing, an’ able ta extend he`p ta those in minority communities once whitey liberals in Southern California iz back on they feet ag’in.

Please take muh ma f****n inquiries mo’ seriously than ya gots ta dis here point.

Mike Adams

Damn that’s funny. There’s more. Read the whole thing here.

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