southchild

That bit of inspiration comes from Cheering tidbits lighten otherwise grim week by Mark Steyn in Sunday’s Chicago Sun-Times. If you didn’t read this yesterday and need a bit of pick-me-up to kick start the work week, then by all means give Steyn a read. With this one, he actually makes Ann Coulter seem mildly boring. See if you agree:

In an otherwise grim week — at least on unimportant peripheral matters like Iranian nukes — three things cheered me up. The first was the decision of Iran’s bakers to rename Danish pastries “Roses of the Prophet Muhammed pastries.” Has a ring to it, don’t you think? If they’re looking for a slogan, how about “Iranian pastry: There’s nothing flakier. Except our president.”

The second cheery sight was the destruction of a McDonald’s in Lahore by the usual excitable young lads from the religion of pieces. Apparently the lively Pakistanis had burned every single Danish target in the city — one early Victor Borge LP left behind by the last British governor — and had been obliged to diversify. So they dragged Ronald McDonald out of the joint, torched him in the street and danced around his flaming remains shouting “Death to America! Death to Britain! Death to Tony Blair!”

I’m not sure I even get that. Ronald and Tony seem kind of similar from a distance but even on the all-infidels-look-alike-to-me-especially-when-they’re-alight thesis you’d think they weren’t that easily confused.

The third “jolly event” is the MSM hissy fit over old-guy, Dick “Elmer Fudd” Cheney’s peppering of another old-guy buddy of his during a quail hunt-turned-grassy-knoll conspiracy theory (soon to be an Oliver Stone movie):

Fortunately, the Washington Post had that wise old bird David Ignatius to put it in the proper historical context: “This incident,” he mused, “reminds me a bit of Sen. Edward Kennedy’s delay in informing Massachusetts authorities about his role in the fatal automobile accident at Chappaquiddick in 1969.”

Hmm. Let’s see. On the one hand, the guy leaves the gal at the bottom of the river struggling for breath pressed up against the window in some small air pocket while he pulls himself out of the briny, staggers home, sleeps it off and saunters in to inform the cops the following day that, oh yeah, there was some broad down there. And, on the other hand, the guy calls 911, has the other fellow taken to the hospital, lets the sheriff know promptly but neglects to fax David Gregory’s make-up girl!

As Steyn reminds us, given all of the gloom-and-doom news in this world, what would we do without the tabloid MSM to cheer us up?

It’s easy to be tough about nothing. The press corps that noisily champions “the public’s right to know” about a minor hunting accident simultaneously assures the public that they’ve no need to see these Danish cartoons that have caused riots, arson and death around the world. On CNN, out of “sensitivity” to Islam, they show the cartoons but with the Prophet’s face pixilated so that he looks as if Cheney’s ventilated him with birdshot and it turned puffy and gangrenous. C’mon, guys, these are interesting times. Anyone can unload the umpteenth round of blanks into the bulletproof Chimpy Hallibushitler, but why not take a shot at something that matters?

Or perhaps it would just be easier to change the term ”free press” to the ”Roses of the Prophet Muhammed press.”

This entry was posted on Monday, February 20th, 2006 at 10:39 am and is filed under General, humor, politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.