non-offensive Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005 10:21 pm by Neal

Thanks, HR, for this one. I don’t know the author (or I would credit them), but this is pretty funny — take leftist, political correctness; mix with a Christmas card; shake.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice (with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice such traditions at all).*

Furthermore, I offer my (non-binding) best wishes for the onset of the generally accepted calendar year of 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. (Which is not to imply that America is any greater than any other country or is the only “America” in the western hemisphere.) These wishes are offered without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

Happy (if happiness is in your belief system)

Holidays (if you recognize them)

*This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promises by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others, is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish expires within one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

Comments are closed.